Monday, November 30, 2009

Mimpi semata..syukurrrr

I juz love to kiss my kids a lot..soooo much..very much..sooo very much..sometimes i juz kissed them like there's no tomorrow..listening to them laughing tickling is like a sound of music in my heart..even if its only for ten minutes and after that you'll hear my voice screaming and yelling at them to stop picking up other's toys, etc, still, the moment when we are playing together guling-guling, pusing-pusing on the bed is totally ours and ours only..masalah dunia lain, peduli apa..

Last nite, we did the same..i kissed ayyen like there's no tomorrow..he was laughing and we were playing..i pretend to bite his ear..he was like, NOO!! don't tickle..aneen came and join us..and we played..and knowing this won't go anywhere, i asked them to sleep..i was trying to get ayyen to sleep actually..but biasa lar, main-main dulu..hehe..and i gave him a BIG kiss, like there's no tomorrow..tak puas lar..

Maybe because of what i tot and i slept with the thinking, i had a my dream, i lost my little boy..astaghfirullahalazim..i was very sad, but not depressed, as in i was ready because i already gave him my last kiss..waaaaaaaaaaa..boleh ke mcm tue?? In my dream, i was thinking that this would be the best for him..i forgot how and why it happened..and i was afraid to open my eyes and wake up..i scared he won't be beside me..i don't think i want to wake up..i was hoping i just stayed there..if i opened my eyes, and he's not there, i'll be frustrated and sad, for the second might and definately hurt me more than the first time..hisyyy..scary k...

And then suddenly i heard him crying..asking for milk..i opened my eyes, and there he was, beside me..syukurrrr was a dream..i went to get his milk ready and thinking what a dream i had..waaaaaaaaa..leganya..

Huhh..malam nie nk kiss byk2 lagi..and nk main-main lagi..mimpi mainan tidur..i juz hope by telling and sharing this to/with all, nanti lambat lagi jd mimpi tue..hehe..kan?? org tua-tua kan selalu ckp mcm tue...

"Your parents and your children, you know not which of them is the nearer to you in usefulness; this is an ordinance from Allah: Surely Allah is Knowing Wise." (Noble Quran 4:11)

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